Snapshots of Our Past
by curryforyourthoughts
Summary: Sebastian finds out some troubling news about Kurt, and in his mixed emotions sends them through an incredible journey filled with trials, tribulations, and love. Sometimes the only thing he can focus on is hope, in the form of hundreds of paper cranes. Warning: Major character death, cancer!AU
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So I'm adding to my WIP's that I don't even regularly update, sorry. Before you read, know that this is an angst fic with character death! I aim to make you cry! (cancer!AU)**

"Oh hi Kurt, fancy meeting you here!"

Kurt sighed and looked up to see Sebastian grinning up at him, holding a coffee cup in his hand.

"Well, it's official. I'm going to go home right now to find a new coffee shop that I can come to."

Before Kurt could move, Sebastian plopped into the seat across from him.

"Where are you heading to so fast, killer? Stay a while! Tell me all about your big plans for college, I'm sure you managed to find tons of colleges that teach their students about Puerto Rican gay pride floats!"

Kurt squeezed his eyes shut because all of a sudden the room felt too hot and constricting. Flashes went through his mind: a rejection letter from NYADA, a life-shattering conversation with his doctor, his first chemotherapy session, his separation with Blaine to protect him. Hot tears threatened to spill out of his eyes and he sat there for a moment breathing deeply, willing himself to be strong.

It didn't matter that he didn't get into college, because his doctors didn't think he would last longer than a year anyways.

Once he was sure he could breathe again, he opened his eyes and found Sebastian sitting across from him, his expression suddenly uncertain and cautious. Kurt was sure that after the Karofsky incident, Sebastian was much more aware of his actions than before. Sebastian opened his mouth to no doubt apologize but Kurt was quickly waving him off.

"Actually Sebastian, this has been great, but I really have to go now."

Kurt managed to get up and walk two steps before his body suddenly felt much frailer, and he stumbled: right into Sebastian's arms. Kurt looked up to find Sebastian's face inches from his, his eyes filled with concern.

"Kurt? Is…is everything okay?"

Kurt's body crumpled before he could stop himself. His form began to shake from sobs and it was all Sebastian could do to hold him upright in his arms, shushing him and brushing his hair back as he cried.

"So, cancer?"

Sebastian was standing in front of Kurt's bed, in a bare, clean white room. He had just finished pacing around the hospital room for several minutes while Kurt waited patiently and silently for him, until he had stopped in place and turned to ask him.

Kurt nodded slowly.

"I…I have a brain tumor. They say it's already at stage 4, so...guess you won't have to deal with me for much longer, huh?" Kurt attempted a weak smile, but Sebastian looked at him sharply.

"Hey, don't say things like that! I never had to 'deal with you', Kurt. You're an amazing person."

Kurt scoffed lightly at this, to which Sebastian responded with a sigh.

"Honestly, Kurt. From the moment we met in the Lima Bean, you've intrigued me. I never wanted to date Blaine! Once I met you, I just wanted to mess with you guys, that's all! Kurt, you can't go around with that attitude, you're too good for that."

Kurt looked up timidly and was shocked at the amount of fervor that Sebastian's gaze towards him held. While talking, Sebastian had moved closer to the bed.

"Sebastian, I get it. You were a dick to a guy, and now that he's dying it's time to make amends before it's on your conscious for the rest of your life. Well, you brought me to the hospital, and you said what you needed to, so thanks. You can go now."

Sebastian gave a frustrated huff before sitting down and scooting his chair close to Kurt.

"Look, Kurt. I was a jerk; probably still am. But this isn't about me trying to make myself feel better or anything. You're a phenomenal person. You're intelligent, witty, funny, and I'll bet you're so much more, if I had been smart enough to get to know you better. I'm so sorry this is happening to you."

Sebastian held Kurt's gaze with eyes filled with passion, and Kurt felt his insides squirm from the fact that this was Sebastian Smythe sitting in front of him, telling him that he _cared_.

Sebastian mentally panicked as he realized his eyes were beginning to get damp. The fact that Kurt Hummel was tragically ill was starting to sink in. _Shit_.

Kurt became startled when he noticed Sebastian's eyes beginning to get wet.

"Hey, hey, it's okay, it's alright." Kurt soothed Sebastian as tears threatened to spill from the other boy's eyes.

Sebastian shook his head and hastily rubbed his face, scrubbing tears from his eyes before they could surface.

"Kurt, it's not alright. You're so…you're such a bright person. This should not be happening. This can't be happening."

Kurt rubbed Sebastian's hand for a few moments as they both calmed down a little. When Sebastian looked up again, they locked gazes and Kurt became instantly aware that he was currently touching Sebastian. He moved to pull his hand away but Sebastian flipped his own hand around to grab it and hold it in place. Kurt's breathe caught in his chest as Sebastian stared at him with an unreadable expression that held just a bit of uncertainty.

They stared at each other for a few more seconds. The room was practically sparkling with nervous energy. Their eyes were conveying to each other different possibilities, things they could be, things that could have been different.

Sebastian made a split second decision then, a decision that sealed both of their fates.

He leaned in.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So this story is officially set for 7 parts, and I'm going to try and balance it with PNTSS but I'm definitely trying to get this one done first, since it's gonna be much shorter than the other. Enjoy some fluff before the angst! ^_~**

"Kurt, come on, hurry up!"

Sebastian waited impatiently as Kurt handed some bills to the street vender before grabbing two ice cream cones and making his way to his boyfriend, who was now tapping his foot against the pavement.

"Alright, alright Mr. Cranky-pants, I'm here. I don't get why coming here was of such dire importance." Sebastian opened his mouth in appall as he looked at Kurt. One month of planning this, only to be ignored? This was not going down without a fight.

"Excuse me? I did not spend one month working my ass off in New York to not only set you up with an internship at Vogue, but also to find the perfect spot at Central Park for us to spend long, warm days sitting at, that I've been dying to show you this entire time, just for you to brush it off as nothing! So eat your damn ice cream, shut up, and come with me."

Kurt's expression was one of mild amusement as Sebastian stalked off, tugging Kurt along behind him by the wrist. He made his way to some trees off to the side, which provided the perfect shade underneath their leafy branches. Sebastian could just make out the worn patch of dirt underneath one, where he had sat daily as he talked on the phone with Kurt, who had been in Ohio, or imagining life once Kurt was in New York with him. He smiled to himself because it was finally coming true; Kurt was _here_, with him, in New York, and everything was perfect. The tiny nagging in the corner of his brain tried reminding him about the regular radiation appointments, but Sebastian steadfastly pushed that out of his mind. There was no point thinking about that now.

Sebastian plopped down under his favorite tree, setting Kurt's head in his lap. He attempted combing his fingers through Kurt's hair but was scolded with a swift slap to the hand by his irritated boyfriend.

"Lemme up, you goofball, and let me eat my ice cream!" Sebastian allowed Kurt to rise before looping his arms around Kurt's waist and pulling the other boy's back flush with his chest. He smiled softy as Kurt turned to him to roll his eyes, before resting his head on Kurt's shoulder and licking at his ice cream.

They sat wrapped up in each other like that for practically half an hour, eating and talking about all the different things they wanted to do in New York together.

Early on in their relationship, Kurt had begged Sebastian to never talk in the future tense, or to make far off plans, because it had hurt too much to hope. But little by little, Sebastian had taught him that hoping was okay; in fact, hope could be the one thing to pull them through.

Sebastian could still remember the beginning of their relationship, the moment they kissed. After it had happened, Kurt had adamantly ignored and avoided Sebastian, and Sebastian had let him so he could sort out his whirlwind emotions. After a week, however, Sebastian had ended up at Kurt's house, soaking wet because of the pouring rain (they would later laugh and tease over how cliché that had been), when he had told Kurt that he didn't care what kind of deadline anyone had given him; that he wanted to give this thing a try no matter what, because something real might actually be there.

Kurt would always wonder how the multiple-man Sebastian had actually committed to a relationship just like that, but Sebastian had yet to tell him about the crush that he had been stubbornly resisting ever since he had started regretting that slushie.

After losing track of the time for another half hour (too lost in visions of sledding in Central Park and spring fashion runways) Kurt gently nudged Sebastian on the shoulder.

"Seb, sweetheart, I have to go." Sebastian turned and nodded slowly, a bit crestfallen. It was time for Kurt to head to his radiation session; Sebastian had offered to take him, but Kurt had insisted that he needed to get used to riding the subway alone. Sebastian tugged Kurt closer and pressed his lips into Kurt's for a firm kiss, his hands gently cupping the sides of Kurt's face. Kurt pulled away after a second, fleeting press of lips before saying,

"I'll meet you at the apartment in two hours, okay?"

"Deal." Sebastian responded, smiling softly.

"Love you!" Kurt said brightly, before making his way down the pavement towards a park exit.

"Love you forever." Sebastian whispered, watching Kurt's form slowly grow smaller.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: And so the angst begins! *cue the evil laughter* I may be putting more angst than required from the prompt I'm filling, but Andrea ( ) wanted to cry, so...enjoy! ;)**

"I just don't understand why you're doing this!"

Sebastian's yell echoed around the tiny apartment, only to be quickly replaced by an answering shout.

"I don't know what you're talking about. All I'm trying to do is be a little independent without you always breathing on my neck! I can take care of myself, Sebastian!"

Kurt stood angrily in front of their kitchen counter, breathing heavily while staring down his boyfriend who stood across from him, on the other side of their dingy counter island.

"Look, I'm sorry if I'm being a little overbearing, but I don't know what to do! You keep pushing me away!"

"Stop being so goddamn worried about me; I don't need you of all people to be treating me like a weak diseased little baby! I get that from everyone else, I don't need this helpless feeling to be everywhere I go!"

Sebastian let out a frustrated puff of air, tugging his hands through his hair haphazardly. They had only been in New York for three months, and they were already fighting; not just small arguments, but actual fighting.

"I'm not trying to imply that you can't do anything. You're Kurt Hummel, for Christ's sake! You're the strongest person I've ever met! But you can't do everything alone, why can't you just accept that I love you and that I'm trying to help you?!"

"You're just wasting your time! All you do is make sure I go to all my doctor's appointments, and my radiation; it's taking up so much of your time and it's so stupid! I can do this stuff on my own; maybe I would be better off if I were just on my own!"

Sebastian froze, his breath catching in his chest. His heart felt like it was contracting painfully and a chill went over his body.

"What…what are you saying Kurt? Do…do you want to break up with me?"

Kurt stood silently, a slightly distraught expression making its way onto his face which he steadfastly tried to fight.

"Maybe it would be better for both of us if we did. Especially for you." Kurt responded in a quiet, solemn voice. At this, Sebastian paused as a dangerous realization crept into his mind.

"What do you mean, 'especially for me'? Are you actually implying that my life would somehow be easier if you weren't in it? What, do you think that if Kurt Hummel and his tragic cancer were out of my life, I would be so much happier, huh? Is that it?"

Kurt felt his heart breaking slightly; they had never spoken about the problem so rashly and directly before. Hearing Sebastian voice all of his insecurities only solidified them.

"Well Kurt, guess what. I told you before that I'm in this for the long haul, and I goddamn meant it. I love you, and I'm not leaving you for any reason, especially not some stupid disease. We're together, and that means through thick and thin, alright?!"

Kurt tried to believe Sebastian, he really did. But he felt his hysteria rising as he imagined pulling Sebastian down with him through his tribulations and troubles. He couldn't do that to someone he loved so much. He couldn't ruin someone else's life as they watched his crumble around him.

Kurt slowly shook his head, tears escaping his eyes and spilling out onto his cheeks.

"I'm sorry, but you can't! Just leave me alone!" He yelled, practically screaming. He stalked off into their bedroom and slammed the door behind him.

Sebastian stood, still frozen in his spot. His mind grew frantic; he had to fix this, he simply had to. It felt like his whole world was crumbling around him. This couldn't be happening; he didn't know what to do.

Sebastian began pacing around their small apartment, carefully avoiding the minefield of papers and furniture in their small apartment as he tried to navigate his minefield of emotions. He mangled his hair even more, before deciding to retreat into their guest room, wearily dumping himself into Kurt's desk chair in front of his design table. He surveyed the clutter and tried not to succumb to his surroundings that were now so overwhelmingly _Kurt_. Sebastian carefully stacked Kurt's papers and notebooks and cleared the desk off, folding his hands on top of the now empty desk and thinking hard.

A random memory of his mother popped into his head; it was of the two of them, him smiling as his mother brought out stacks of paper.

"Now sweetie, there's this legend I heard about long ago. It says that if you fold one thousand paper cranes, you will get one wish granted."

He remembered hours of giggling as his mother showed him how to fold paper cranes, and the weeks of time they spent bonding as they worked on them together.

And he remembered the day he came home from school to discover that his mother was gone.

It had taken him a while to understand what they had meant. He had sat in their den, bitterly holding back stinging tears, as he worked his hands numb, folding crane after crane. His father kept saying that she wouldn't come back, and when it had finally sunk in, Sebastian snapped.

They had almost been at one thousand. They had been so close. If Sebastian had finished sooner, he could have saved her with his one wish.

After his mother's death, Sebastian closed himself off from his family. As he grew older, he grew meaner, and snarkier, and didn't always make the best decisions. And as he grew older, he realized that the paper cranes were pointless. There was nothing he could have done. Absolutely nothing.

And that realization only made him more bitter. His life started heading down a darker path, and reached a point where he had landed two different boys in the hospital (or he at least contributed, since he still believed his comments helped push one towards attempting suicide).

After that, though, he strived to be better person. Someone who would have made his mother proud. Someone who was capable of loving again. And Kurt had helped him become that person too.

Sebastian couldn't give up on Kurt. Kurt was the love of his life, and he would work even harder to show Kurt that with hope, anything could be possible.

Sebastian got up and grabbed a stack of colored paper. He sat back down at the desk, and began to fold.

An hour later, with hands that were out of practice and thus getting sore, Sebastian slowly slid open their bedroom door and tiptoed to their bed.

"I'm already awake."

Kurt's muffled voice said frankly, coming from where Kurt was snuggled in their blankets and pillows. It didn't escape Sebastian that Kurt was currently on _his_ side of the bed.

Sebastian lifted the blankets and got into Kurt's side of the bed, wisely choosing to not comment on it. He hesitated before scooting closer to his boyfriend, not yet touching, but close enough to feel his body heat.

"Kurt…"

"Don't. I…I was acting stupidly. I'm sorry." Kurt mumbled. Sebastian sighed before grabbing his arm and pulling him around to face him.

"No Kurt, it's okay. You're scared, and that's normal. But the one thing that you don't have to be scared about is me not being here for you. I'm always gonna be here for you, no matter what happens. I promise that I'm always going to love you. And anything that happens, we'll get through it together, okay? Don't you ever worry about me; not once have I ever, nor will I ever, regret being with you. Please understand that."

Kurt's eyes were tinged with red and he stared at Sebastian intensely. He gave one curt nod, then two, before he began openly crying, his tears tracking across his cheeks. Sebastian pulled Kurt close, whispering soothing words and kissing his tears off of his cheeks even as Sebastian's own cheeks became damp.

"I-I'm so sorry, Seb. I love you, I love you so much." Kurt managed, his voice breaking.

"Shh, shh, baby, I'm sorry too. I love you." Sebastian murmured into Kurt's hair, pulling Kurt's body close and encasing it in his arms.

"Love you forever." Sebastian mumbled just before sleep overtook them both.


End file.
